07 May, 2012

A Fresh Coat of Paint to a Gay World

As I think about different things that occur in our world, I am taken over by so many changes that need to be made. Most of the things on this list will hit closer to home, for me, as I see things within the world I reside that need to change.

As a gay man, I live in a world that has plenty of its ignorance. Yes, there are people out there who are so stuck in their ways, that they feel that as gays and lesbians, we are vile and disgusting, only because they fear us simply for the fact of who we love. It’s sad, really, that a human being would be scared of someone who loves differently than they do (or be scared that somewhere, deep down inside of themselves, they might be “one of us”, too). But, this is not the only epidemic that sparks within the world today. The ignorance does not just lie with the people on that end of the coin; it does lie with the gay community, as well.

Some that fear the gay community do so because of the reputation that stereotypes would have on us. The sad fact is that while so many people are wise and live above the stereotypical idea of what it is to be gay, so many fail short of the hope that we as a community have been fighting for this whole time.

We are seen as a highly promiscuous people. The ignorance of society says that being gay is equated with a loveless way of life where a person has many sexual encounters with people whose names are unknown to them. In reality, most are not like this, but there is a vast amount of people who are. Plenty of gay clubs offer condoms in the bathrooms, give out condoms at pride parades, have porn and sex stores nearby where condoms are sold, and even some have clinics near that give out free condoms. All this is quite overkill, I feel. Yes, people should be safe when they have sex, but this is more like people expect you to have sex. And it seems that there are some people who go to clubs expecting to have sex in them, as well. The idea of overt sexuality does not give us, as a whole, a good name. Sexuality is something that is shared in the privacy of one’s home, not out in public. Decency isn’t dead. Keep all it all in your own home. There is nothing wrong with having a libido, but there is no reason to have to publicly prove anything to the world with the use of sexuality. It only caters to the witlessness that tends to be something fleeting and fading, something that deems a person incapable of anything worthwhile.

Yes, we have been forced to live our lives in a “normal” way, but that does not justify any of the outlooks that people have adopted as customary within the community as whole. This projecting of our hurt does not allow us to do whatever we want simply because of our sexuality. That is lunacy. That is ignorance, and the only way to cure ignorance is with knowledge and education on the how life really is.

The media, both homosexual and straight, have portrayals of this. It has been just accepted within the community. But why? We are not like that at all. One solution to this part of the problem would lie in the idea of the community taking responsibility for itself and bringing back morality and decency by sifting out all of these things from the make-up of the community:  rid clubs of the backrooms, slutty attitudes, overkill in the access to condoms, use of drugs (though not mentioned above, it is something we need to outlaw in the community), sites and apps that support (and even promote) promiscuity, characters that embody these characteristics within shows and movies (as well as cooperation with gay and lesbian magazines to rid these characteristics from articles and sections of the magazine), and completely change the reputation of the gay and lesbian population worldwide. (Something to note here, there are people who can help you, psychologically, if you are in need of help with inner pain. You do have worth, if you will acknowledge it.)

But changing our reputation would not just end there; that is a major start that needs to occur, but other things need to happen as well. Beyond the overt sexuality aspect, we need to change logic and the way we think on issues. Before we start with ideals that project our sexuality upon people, we should take a step back and rethink things. No, this isn’t a plea to stop our equality struggle, but an appeal to fight for equality in a different way.

Consistency is the name of the game: if it’s not OK for other groups of people to do something, then it’s not OK for all groups to do the same thing. It seems that so many people talk about the ignorance of other groups who shove their hateful ideas down the throats of society in a very negative light. But, when you think about it (though not done in a hateful way), the gay community does that, too. As a collective, we don’t use the Bible to make people hear us, we just flags, but the notion is the exact same: shoving your views and thoughts down other people’s throats will not win a person over, but will make people want to defy what message is being said. Using excessive rainbows, telling people to “just get used to it”, and flaunting of homosexuality does not get the point across: it only makes the person ignore and defy the message even more. For instance, when does it work for a person to shove their ideas on who you can love down your throat and you are ok with that? We need to be a proud community, yes, but that pride should not overwhelm our respect for others (something we demand others have for us; we must have for others) and get in the way of our ultimate goal.

We should show the equality that we want for us. It’s a struggle, yes, but would help the goal. We need to set the example for what we want from society: instead of having things that promote the de facto segregation within the homosexual community, let’s create more things that break the barrier of fear and are more accepting of all people. Fear is a strong thing, understandably so. It keeps us from harm. But here, need to show our wanting equality by having more social gatherings where not only homo but heterosexual people can come together and enjoy co-existence as humanity (this does happen in a smaller scale and needs to continue to flourish and expand to the commonplace).
Along with this, gay and lesbian people would benefit from taking a lesson from history, as our struggle isn’t that different from other struggles for equality of the past. We should take a lesson from the civil rights movement and employ something similar civil disobedience to the effort (while being homosexual isn’t illegal, it still is something that is rather seen as odd in some parts of the world) : hold hands with your love, kiss your love (keeping in regard decency with public displays of affection, as even with straight people, overt displays shouldn’t be overt, but kept in the privacy), and enjoy life with you love, fully. Something to note is that regardless of fear, we are still gay men and lesbians no matter where we are; we should continue to hold hands with our loves regardless of where we are (as the same consistency applies to those that oppose us as it does us) and in doing so, show that we demand equality in this world, without a flamboyance with our actions. These types of changes would stop and make people think about us, especially if our “civil disobedience” is used in a very mild and peaceful way.

Responsibility is something that we need to take for our actions. Yes, we were oppressed. Yes, there are some people out there that don't like us, but that does not an excuse make. It seems that there are many different fingers pointing out to the world, and not enough pointing inward, in a correcting manner. We need to take a step back and think about what we've done in all this and how the ignorance that we, as a whole, allow to occur is a factor in our lack of full rights. Instead of just placing blame on the world for our actions, we need to wake up, get off our high horses, and change what we are doing. The world is becoming more accepting, we should become more accepting with it. Instead of sugar coating things, and feeling that acceptance is equal to tolerating delusional ignorance, we need to wake up and take control of our rights.

I would like to challenge the community, as well, to learn to give up outdated traditions and things that have been going on just because. Like with the rest of the world, and applying to every group of people in this world, these traditions are only holding back the growth of the community as a whole. Traditions of how things should be, before being gay wasn’t completely taboo, needed to change.  The idea of what should be was outdated, since the times are way different from then. The same is said of the homosexual community and the traditions that are held here. Change is something new and exciting, but does have its fears that go along with it. If we demand change from the rest of the world, then we need to change, ourselves. We need to change the mentality of our lives from that of where it used to be, even from the 60s, to now where it is. A lot has changed, and it’s time that the mentality of the community were matched to fit the truths of the time. Just because something is the way it has always been done does not mean that things cannot change. Remember, others would argue that the norm has always been a heterosexual one (hence why some of the pain we feel comes from being forced into a straight world as a homosexual).

We need to change the lingo that we use in our community, as well. Words are used as accepted terms to denoted homosexual related things in society. Things like "queer" and "fag" are commonplace. These terms were originated from negative things. Queer denotes something "odd" or "weird", while the word fag literally is a log used for firewood (hence why that term has been used negatively: gays were burned at the stake for being heretics, and the logs were called fags). Let's think about this for a second: when we want positivity from the community and for people to look at us in a positive light, why would we use terms that came from places very negative? I challenge the community to start something positive and create terms that are not originating is degradation, regardless of what other people will do with them. At least create terms that will denote a more positive outlook for us as a people.

In order to change things for the better, our reputation as a community needs to fully take a turn for the better (something that should have fully happened quite a bit ago). The winds of change have already arrived, and the change that we seek is slowly taking progress within the world, but before we can fully take the joy that will be all of humanity’s to enjoy, we need to open our eyes and learn the question why things are going on, and do something about it. Simply refusing to join the fight is counterproductive to the struggle that we face, and you cannot fully be justified with your part in the struggle. If you do not fight, the goal does not become obtained. This is our world and we have to actively make it a better one, together.

07 February, 2012

Prop 8's melting....it's melting!

YAY CALIFORNIA! Prop 8 has been killed, yet again. It's a sweet victory for all the gays and lesbians in this country. Our rights are slowly making their rounds to us, so we can be able to marry the people we are in love with. I cannot be more excited about this. Our rights are slowly making their way to us, people!

Now, that a few states are getting the clue, I pray that all the rest will wake up and see the light. It would really help the economy. I might have stated this is a previous blog, but if gays and lesbians were allowed to marry, we would have to pay money for not only the venue, but the attire, baker, photographer, priest (Justice of the Peace or other marriage officiant), musician, etc. Depending on how detailed some people want to make their marriage, it could be rather expensive. That would go along with right wing ideals.

I wonder when people will finally see that religion and politics will and should not mix. Never ever, ever! Yes, we as a society will have moments where disagreement will occur, but that does not mean that anyone needs to claim that God is on their side, on the other person's side, or on neither side. Just argue your thoughts for their values. A good argument would include facts, responses valid in court. I cannot stand a political argument that ends because of some person says something to the effect of "It's icky". That is an opinion. A viewpoint. Not a fact.

Plus, it seems that some people in this country need a lesson on proper argument techniques...so, I am going to apply them into the blog. It's rather simple, really.

  1. State your claim, supporting yourself with things that have stance like facts (not just views, biases, hatred)
  2. Be respectful of the other person's views, though disagreeing if you do. It's not a bad thing to be open minded. Through arguments, we learn about our world and come to learn more about ourselves. We create valid reasons why we believe a certain way or don't. BUT, that does not mean that the Constitution allows rights for only certain group; we ALL are living under the rights of the Constitution.
Just needed to get that out there. I am sure that because gays and lesbians are getting rights in our own due time, other people are having their one-sided arguments over the issue, using the name of God in a very perverted way. Which brings me to a new point.

Apparently our President "perverted" the word of God because he used it to defend a tax. It makes me laugh that the right wingers would say things like that. I totally forgot that the 1% were the only people that Jesus ever talked to. But, then again, I must be reading the wrong Bible. There are many different pictures out there (which are very true) that explain how Jesus would not be allowed in to many churches that are open today. Jesus taught for us to give up our positions to help the poor, to give things to the poor, and to have equality....things I am sure plenty of right wingers would respond with "Get cleaned and get a job." (Among other things, since Jesus wasn't white.....I am sure some people would add racism if they saw Jesus for real.)

Because I don't want to end on a semi-ranting note, I will leave you with this quote, may it inspire you:
"I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past."
-Patrick Henry

05 February, 2012

If Music Be the Food of Love, Sing On

In the simplicities of the heart it comes to engulf you,
Find you and drown you in the ultimate joy that is to have.

Many different notes and rhythms caress your soul as you dive deeply
Underneath the surface of what seems to be something very welcoming and inviting.
Songs fill you with joy;
If only you wanted to escape, you would be able to.
"Come into the joy" it calls!

Beyond any negativity of this world lies a place where we can all be free;
Everywhere you go, you are captured to this happiness.

Taking a deep breath, you give in to the light that surrounds you,
Having no regrets take you as you venture.
Everyone is loved, everyone is the same in its eyes.

For this art is everywhere you go,
On every TV, radio, and iPod.
Over every joyous moment it resides,
Deeply wrapping its listeners in a blanket of the most awesome.

Only those who search it will be able to truly find the joys it possesses.
Form your own path to the creativity that it does provide.

Little passages will dance on your heart and in your heart,
Over and over again playing their playful tune.
Very peaceful things reside here.
Explore every different chord and note.

Sing into the night time air with happy thoughts of love;
Introduce the world with the creativity that resides within your being.
Notice all that music has to offer, all the inspiration that it can provide.
Gladly share this joy with other people.

Only then can you fully feel creativity,
Never ending passions that fully take you over.

03 February, 2012

Responce to responces

I recently was watching a video on youtube where marines were getting briefed on the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell, a 17-year-old policy that restricted gays from being open in the armed forces. A few of the marines expressed things that seemed really selfish and one-sided to me.

There were some who took a religious stance on the issue. One even stood up and said "My religion is being pushed just so that I can accept someone else's preference, sexually." Another said something like this "What does the country value more, sexuality or religion?" These are interesting points that people are making...the points that make me sort of irritated at ignorance in this world.

First off, I forgot that we lived in a country where there was only one religion and the first amendment only applied to the freedom of one religion. There is a separation of Church and State, which applies to every religion, not just some or all but one. We all need to learn to co-exist, which does not mean that we all have to agree. The whole aspect of allowing gays and lesbians in the armed forces has nothing to do with the fact that religious freedoms will be hurt, nor will anyone be forced to believe differently or change their views, but the acceptance of gays and lesbians in the armed forces is to help with getting the job done. Ignorance is the issue on this level.

Secondly, some people express their concern that sharing a shower or bunk with a gay person will be very weird and bad. Who says it has to be that way? Gays do not join the armed forces to get some. I really doubt that that's how it works in the first place. There are too many people out there that seem to think that if they are in the presence of a gay person, that that gay person will want them. Get that out of your head. Especially in the armed forces. Attraction can be a flattering thing, but we do know where the limits are. Just completely let it all go.

Overall, people need to be a bit more open of gays in the armed forces. Put aside your religious beliefs (which have no business in politics) and know that no person is making you feel any differently. This is about co-existence. It is immature and ignorant to seem to think that your views (and the views of the popular religion) need to dominate the whole. I wish more people would see that.

30 January, 2012

Living Hate

People come and go,
Here and there living life,
And it is still to be lived within this form.

Days go by into nights,
Yet we all still lack the proper way to love:
We are all one kind.

Fighting and wars cut hopes and dreams into many pieces,
The people of these cities cannot obtain their joy,
And we still live that lie that tells us we are ok.

Does the rain fall from the sky?
Or the mountains, are they not made of earth?
Do we not get what we are doing?

Making people to hate and kill,
Sending the world into mass frenzy:
The earth, she dies a little everyday.

Rain falls on the Greek and the Russians,
Sun shines on the Americans and the Iraqis.
We are all in the same place.

Masses think without knowing,
People are being mislead without understanding,
And all we can do is know.

Troubles do follow this life,
Hard as she may be, it is the way that we must go.
And we must know the ways into her.

Masses think about their families with guilt,
They lack the official knowledge to understand life fully,
And so are bitten every waking moment with an unknown spy.

Love your fellow person as yourself,
Such is the rule laid out in golden light.
Live and be made to live.

Wake up, oh you who wash with the unknown,
Being deceived and misplaced you grow in immaturity.
Grow into the truth and live.

29 January, 2012

Sanctity of Marriage?

On this evening, as I am listening to some Chopin (which as always been an inspiration for me, being my favorite composer...hint, hint), I think about how biased people can be.

I recently posted a political cartoon, a satirical comment on people's idea of the sanctity of marriage. It's rather funny: people who are straight who get drunk and want to get married in Vegas are legal to do that. As well as people who want to get married many, many times and have many different ex-spouses, and that's legal. In this country, people like Britney Spears can have a 52 hour wedding. Why? Why is it OK for things like that to happen, but gay people can't have one marriage within every state of this country?

It would destroy the sanctity of marriage, you say? Let's take a nice little walk into this idea. Sanctity, according to Webster's dictionary, means "holiness of life and character". Something interesting to think about. Marriage is holy. It is something grand and wonderful. Nothing to be taken as a joke, but something to share love between two people.

Back to the sanctity of marriage: being something you do not take as a joke...WHY then can straight people have marriages that last only a few days? Does that not sound like a joke to you? That does not make marriage holy, nor. Being holy means to be set apart from, to be exalted. Keep that in mind as we discuss this.

OK, back to those people who get drunk and get married in Vegas. Now, would that sound like something taken seriously? Does that sound like it makes marriage set apart and good in character? I beg to argue that the only thing that is really does is to show that we as a society are ok saying that marriage is joke. Why, then would we be ok with this happening, but two loving gay people cannot get married?

How about those people who have been married many, many times before, the "serial spouses"? That sounds like glorified dating. We all have a past in relationships. That's true. I'm sure that most people have more than one boyfriend or girlfriend. That's dating, a purpose to learn more about oneself and thus expand life. But marriage is a union, a bond. These people who go marrying multiple people show the world that marriage is a valuable as tissue paper: go through one and get another to wipe your nose. Does this make marriage seem set apart, good?

I argue, if straight people are allowed to be able to have all these marriages, why can I as a gay man not be allowed to have just one that is recognized all over in this country? It would not destroy the sanctity of anything! Marriage is a proposal of love to the world, regardless of sexuality. I, as a gay man, can and do love. I love the man in my life, very much so. Why would states like this not allow us to get married?

Marriage produces revenue, regardless of sexuality. We all will have to pay for the venue, the reception, photographer, florist, etc. There is no clause in any law that I've seen that would stop me, as a gay man, from using those services already. I could, using my money, help the economy. That is a conservative ideal. So, my right-wing friends, would that not use one of your thoughts to prove gay marriage? Just one ideal.

Think about that. We, as a community, are close to full unity and equality. Something I feel is getting closer and closer with each day. That I am happy for. I am going to get married to the man I love, regardless of the state. That I do know! But, I pray that more people would wake up, and allow the homosexual community to marry here, and be accepted here as a married couple.

I wish you all a pleasant evening, and many wonderfully good dreams.

First time for it all

My first blog on this site. I am starting to blog. It's a bit new to me (well, not really, since I have done it before on my old myspace account and still do it on facebook). There are a few things that I have thought about that I've wanted to share.

I've gotten to think about society in general, which tends to be something that I do think about. As a Virgo, I a am a defender and a critic of my own times. I see all the time the emergence of ignorance coming out of the education system. As a certified teacher, I see some of the things that go on in the classrooms. Most teachers are well educated and versed in their craft. But, I feel that the standardizing of a test really holds back the learning of the students. It seems that, high school especially, isn't doing its job, isn't living up to why it was created. A high school is meant to give a student the skills he or she will need to survive in real world applications and real world life, post their high school careers. Beyond math, science, English, and the sort (all of which I do agree have some basis on an elementary level in everyone's life, as the basis of survival is inherent), students need to learn real life skills like balancing a financial portfolio. Students should have a portfolio started their freshman year of high school, with each year adding things and checking on the portfolio; by the time a student reaches their senior year, the student should have to analyze what occurred within the portfolio through the four years. (This idea I came to hear from a really wonderful man who has come into my life...of which I will elaborate later.) Something I had to add to the idea was that, much like the "game of Life", a person would start out 'single', get married, have kid(s), and all this time, have to balance their portfolio. While doing this, learning sexual education, driver's education, etc. These skills are the ones that make sense in the real world. (I am not saying that the learning in the classrooms is falsified, but what I would like to say is that if this idea is added to the regular formula of high school, then students will be exposed to the idea [even if their minds cannot fully comprehend it, psychologically] of real world management in a smaller setting, and thus be able to adapt better to the world after high school, whatever their choices may take them.)

Now, this new man in my life. I have noticed quite a bit of things that I really do like. We are very ying and yang:

-Where I can be very critical of things, he tends to have a less critical aspect on life.
-He LOVES SciFi (well, syfy...as that channel would have it), which isn't a bad thing. I love how playful it can be.
-Randomness. Enough said.
-He's a major dork (not that I am not either...but that is a different story).
-It's really awesome to have a man that I feel that I can totally connect with intellectually.
-He's adorable (well, the lucky one...but sometimes, I feel like the lucky one, and he is always adorable, or should I say adorkable).

Life is hit hard for some people in my life, for those people, I do lift up musical joy in hopes that they recover from their hardships. Which, as an interesting pivot point, brings up a few things about hardships. There are three main reasons why hardships happen in our lives (something I have had to learn the hard way, though many of these hardships that I am very thankful for):
1. We go through pain so that we may learn from our mistakes and better ourselves.
2. We go through pain so that others may learn from our mistakes,  though us, and better themselves.
3. We go through pain so that we can be the guiders, helping others through pain.

It's interesting to think of it that way, but I've come to learn that all three apply.

I wish everyone a happy night's sleep!